Light On
by narugasawa
Summary: Years after the death of her husband, Yue Ying retired young and was on hiding since. But then, she was called back for a mission. Yue Ying refused the offer but then again, instead, it brought her memories of her husband and a diary. SONGFIC. ZL X YY


Light On

Summary: Years after the death of her husband, Yue Ying retired young and was on hiding since. But then, she was called back for a mission. Yue Ying refused the offer but then again, instead, it brought her many memories of Zhuge Liang and a door that opened her heart.

I do not own DW but I own this plot.

---

The cherry blossoms were blooming gleefully with pride and joy matching wonderfully with the heavenly skies that bound beauty into one definition which was the definition of extravagance. The foliage seemed to disappear together with the seasons' passing, and the plains seemed very alive ever since conquered by the Shu forces.

Yue Ying was sketching on her rough pads, but this time it wasn't any invention of such weird cases but more or so, she was getting in touch with her feminine side. She was sketching the cherry blossoms in full bloom, and even though it was just a sketch but it seemed so real that she could feel the texture of the petals.

The clouds enveloped across the jaded blue sky and the scenic moment matched in together with the birds flying across the horizons, into the abyss of eternal happiness. Yue Ying stared into the sweet heavens, smiling as she watched the clouds go by.

Yue Ying rested her head in her arms, sighing into the impenetrable beauty of nature that coils around, warming the soul. The spring's vibrant spirit never failed to catch her smile. It had been this long since her smile had faded with his passing. He is gone after all. Never to be seen again. Never to dance before her vision in a gracious blur. Never to peer deeply into her darkest blasphemy.

A sickness grows in the core of her stomach, drowning everything slowly. It hurts. The loneliness hurted Yue Ying greatly but it was time for her to move on.

The green of the garden is exotic with the vibrant colours radiating and everything else was just too bright.

"Lady Yue Ying?" her servant called out to her.

Yue Ying reverts back to reality, wiping away the hot tears that burn her cheeks.

The servant entered the room with a humble bow and continued.

"There is someone who would like to meet you. I am afraid it is Grand General of Shu." said the servant with great politeness.

Upon hearing the word, 'general'- Yue Ying groaned at the emphasis of the name.

_Not again._

Yue Ying sighed, knowing that this was the hundredth time she had to deal with this and her excuses of escape is unquestionably out of line.

"Just sent him in." Yue Ying interjected as she scribbled down in her paper a list of newly added excuses to keep her busy. After all, she ran out of excuses for persuasion.

Barely a turn of minutes, the servant led the general into her room where Yue Ying sat quietly, pretending to read one of her novels she didn't put much effort to finish it though reading wasn't even her hobbies' list. Yue Ying looked up to take a good look of the general and without hesitation, she smiled.

"It's great to see you Zhao Yun." Yue Ying greeted him warmly, as she stood up to embrace her old friend.

Zhao Yun, a lot older now but with less facial hair smiled as he settled down in his seat staring at the sketches Yue Ying had been sketching. A puzzled look breached across Zhao Yun's face.

"I still remember you used to love sketching those juggernauts for the Shu forces and now, I see some feminine side to this." he teased, as he waved the sketches excessively as a result, the edges were crumpled which did not flatter Yue Ying that much although she must say her sketching is horrible.

Yue Ying made a sarcastic cough, trying to catch the boy's attention which eventually she successfully did as Zhao Yun had his serious expression back on without a pause.

"Yes, well as you can see, Liu Bei has once again summoned another mission."

Yue Ying hadn't heard that name in a while. After all, she had worked for Liu Bei many times. Though he motioned many times not to burden her but then again, she was willing to do it to regain the peace of the world. But truthfully speaking, even she hadn't been in the line for so long, she was still all ears when it comes to missions, except adding an element of awkwardness. As far as she knew, the empire was going very smoothly.

"Mission? And wait- if this involves sneaking into people's house, I refuse to listen." interjected Yue Ying, tossing her hair to one side.

"No my lady. It's something Liu Bei would never have done. It's a full fledged frontal attack against Sima Yi."

Yue Ying paused, holding her breath for an interval of ten seconds, recovering from a hasty shock that Zhao Yun had bombed her with. Great, she thought. Another bombshell. But it was very unlikely of Liu Bei to make hasty decisions knowing that a full attack against Sima Yi was a very bad decision. Using full attacks against strategists gives about many loop holes and a greater disadvantage as far as battle is concern and considering it's Sima Yi, that sly fox can even used man eating rabbits as a surprise attack. His comeback present, how nice.

Well not bad.

But more like desperate.

"That is impossibly** CRAZY**." that was the only thing Yue Ying could utter out.

Zhao Yun shook his head and sighed.

"Like that would make the situation even better. He's already calling in the troops. And he requested ESPECIALLY FOR YOU, to come back my lady."

Now that, was the only thing that was driving her to utter the words of rejection. It wasn't because she hated working for Liu Bei. She had her best moments fighting over battle to battle. But that was because, Zhuge Liang was by her side. Fighting by her side meant everything to her.

Because he loved her only because she is Yue Ying.

Not because she is the pretty girl from another province, but she is loved for who she is and her wisdom. A perfect match and unison. She still remembered after the battle of the Wu Zhang plains, it was this very day, when spring bursted into flames of beauty, beaming it's undying beauty; she embraced the cherry blossoms together with her husband.

She still remembered the words he said to her and the way he brushes through her silky auburn hair, that gesture that she missed so much that it hurts every time she thought about it.

_Yue Ying, I knew in the beginning, you and I are fated for each other. _

It was those words that made her tremble in fear. It was those words where she cannot pursue the career any longer. Because in her theory, it makes no sense to fight without a illuminated path set for her. Zhuge Liang was her first love, her husband and the one she would risk her life for.

As said, and it's because it's love, you would take the chances of doing things beyond your shares and beliefs. Love is all that is cracked up to be. Because love is really worth fighting for and risking for, and if you don't risk it now, the risk stakes will be higher in actual fact.

But all those just don't matter to Yue Ying anymore.

Her beloved one is gone. And her will to fight fades together with that morale.

Zhao Yun saw the deem look in Yue Ying's eyes and he knows that she is hesitating.

He makes no noticeable acknowledgement with the exception of reaching out to her hand touching it, and giving it a gentle squeeze. Yue Ying felt the cold and numbness from Zhao Yun's hand but she said nothing.

"Please my lady. Come back and fight with us once more." pleaded Zhao Yun, in hoping a return of a favourable yes.

Yue Ying had her doubts. She was unprepared for this and definitely, she did not retire for this.

"Zhao Yun, I understand the Lord's desperation and wishes. But four years is a long time for me. Four years and so much has changed. Right now, the pinnacle of doom is resurrecting. Sima Yi right now is joining forces together with other forces to fight against Liu Bei. But I beg of you, I cannot continue this fight. Like I said, I have retired and I will not hear anymore of this."

Yue Ying was determined and firm with the contents of her decision. She seemed mad but in actual thought, she was very frustrated. Zhao Yun had his needs for pleas but looking at the lady's stern expression had made him change routes. Perhaps going to Lady Yue Ying was the last resort for them but in other fact, it was only an objective alternative.

Whether she likes it or not, Zhao Yun has no right to force anyone into this discreet battle that would cost more than just lives and souls.

"Lady Yue Ying, I understand your situation. Therefore I will not force you into this fight but I must ask for you, that if you would please pass to me all of Zhuge Liang's documents and geographical maps that he had drafted out during the previous battles? It might be a help to us at least we don't necessary need to do an ALL frontal attack. I ask for you, to pass it to me and I shall take my leave then." said Zhao Yun, being very exceptionally specific for this is the only hope for Shu.

At times, he just hates it when everything is coming right down at him.

Yue Ying smiled, and nodded lightly. It feels so much like as if her head was as fragile as a broken fragment of a glass.

"You can take your leave first Zhao Yun. I will come and seek for you and pass the documents to you myself for my husband's documents are far too large in amount to seek through."

With that, Zhao Yun nodded and took his leave, hoping that the vicious battle will come to an end soon.

----

"My goodness."

If there's one thing Yue Ying regret to do and that is helping people out. Honestly, it was actually easy for people to talk Yue Ying into helping and in the end, for her to rummage through her husband's documents was a total pain in the ass.

To the fact that he is gone, every piece and corner of the room reminds her a lot of her husband. Even the moonlight that emits through the binds are one of the things that reminded her of him considering she remembered that she vowed to share half of his burden in Xia Pi.

Looking through the sketches and papers and documents, there was just too much of battles notes to be taken down. Compiling them all into one compilation of battle wise advices, she bundled them up into a stack and had them place in a box where it was kept safe.

After all, these documents are truly her husband's most prized possessions. Upon, lifting up the box, something caught the corner of her eye and to her enlightenment, it was a diary.

Now, being the loyal wife she is, she didn't have the need to look through personal belongings of her husband.

But the diary, was tainted with white flawless skin and green patterns that resemble the symbol of the dragon.

'The Sleeping Dragon' that's what they used to call him.

And it seems funny right now cause he is partially a sleeping dragon now.

Yue Ying had her doubts but the fact that she have always wanted what her husband always think about his life, the aftermath and everything, she couldn't resist.

She had contemplated about this many times, but this was her only chance. She slowly sauntered towards the book, picking it up from the stack and with dignity, she flipped open the pages. However, there was only one entry apart from the ripped edges of the sides. The ripped edges meant fully well that he had torn the pages before letting anyone see or read his ingenious work of compassion.

Heh, he's good at this. But even so, she continued reading.

_12 241 AD_

_Ah, finally the battle has come to an end. Everything is perfect for now but I fear many things that will come once again to trigger the battlefields and force everyone to fight for what it's right. But for now, peace is regained. Earlier this afternoon, I had a good look at the peach blossoms. They were blooming exceptionally well. Ah, if only, I could live just for one more day just to see them bloom like the moon. Of course, nothing would have been better embracing the peach blossoms with my beloved wife. _

_Her wisdom has brought back peace to the land. The world that I had wished for, has been completed. As of that, I am blessed. I left my life to the hands of fate. And fate rewarded me with a fitting wife, who I truly loved for who she is. _

_I can never ask for anyone else but Yue Ying. _

_I have never really said too much about my love towards my wife for I am afraid my affections would not be enough to please her. But on the contrary, I just had to try to keep my spirits up, even if my illness does not allow me to, I will have to endure it, for there's no point of grieving._

_Never really said too much_

_Afraid that it wouldn't be enough_

_Just try to keep my spirits up_

_When there's no point in grieving._

_Well, of course right now it does not matter. Because no matter how much I wish, I would not be able to stay and hold much longer. But my wisdom will never take my place for no matter how large it is, it can never replace my position as a dutiful husband for Yue Ying._

_Doesn't matter anyway_

_Words can never make me stay_

_Words will never take my place_

_When you know I'm leaving._

_But to my dearest wife, as I hope she can find this little diary. I have ripped off part of my burdens so that my burdens will not be yours anymore. This is my last entry before I leave for another world. It is funny at how we met, and how I was truthful when I said it was fate that brought us together. _

_Do not worry my love. I am always watching you even if at your most dawning points of your life. Leave a light on for me, a path for me when I am gone. For it is something I can rely to get to you. For this light, is one I can feel the warmth of your love entrancing. Like a fire to keep me warm._

_Try to leave a light on when I'm gone_

_Something I rely on to get home_

_One I can feel at night, a naked light_

_A fire to keep me warm_

_Even if everything pulls you down, or even if the situation is dire, please do shine on. You are rich with wisdom and that potential will not go to waste. The moon tonight looks beautiful but when you're here, it lacks everything else and it pales in comparison. Look inside you my lady. In your heart, there is always a place for me and remember, you are never alone._

_Try to leave a light on when I'm gone_

_Even in the daylight, shine on_

_And when it's late at night you can look inside_

_You won't feel so alone._

_You told me once that I was never alone. And because of that, this is why I truly love you. Because you love me for who I am and I love you for who you are. Promise me that you will still move on and illuminate that path for yourself._

_Because all I ask right now, is for you to move on no matter the circumstances. Start a new chapter of your life and continue. _

_Yue Ying, I knew in the beginning, we were fated for each other._

_I love you my lady Yue Ying. Through thick and thin. And till death do us apart._

_Zhuge Liang._

Tears are words the heart cannot say. Yue Ying's love for Zhuge Liang was irrevocable and invulnerable. It was true that all this time, she has degraded her wisdom and limited it to only her husband's wishes. But now, she has better things to worry about.

Upon packing the documents, her headgear and her weapons, she took off into the night proceeding to Liu Bei's fort.

It is up to her now to light on the path that she is taking. It was true she is reluctant to join the forces but because she realised how long she has been living in that shell of hers, it was time for her to shine on.

With that, she carried her husband's oath to the wicked battlefield where blood is once again shed.

_I'll leave that light on for you. So that you will come home and I will feel your presence once more._


End file.
